10 Ways to Break Up With Someone Kindly

If you’re looking for the right words to break up with someone, these are some phrases that may be helpful:

"This isn’t easy to say, but I don’t think we’re the right fit for each other in the long term. I care about you and I don’t want either of us to get hurt later on."

This acknowledges that you have feelings for the person, but you’re breaking up with them because you don’t see it working out in the future.

“I feel like we’ve grown apart and there’s too much distance between us. It’s no one’s fault, but we can’t go on this way.”

This explains your reasons for breaking up without pointing fingers at anyone.

“I've think we’ve been growing in different directions and we want different things. We're just not on the same page anymore.”

This highlights the fact that you have differences that may not be reconcilable.

“Our time together has been really special to me, but I need to focus on myself right now. You deserve someone who’s all in, and I don’t think I can be that person at the moment.”

This indicates a shift in your priorities, away from the relationship and toward yourself.

"I'm not happy in this relationship, and I don't think we can make it work."

This allows you to be honest about your feelings and put an end to the relationship.

"I’ve realized that I need something different in my life right now and this is not it. I really wanted it to work out because I care about you but I want to be honest."

This centers the decision on your needs without blaming the other person.

"You mean a lot to me, but I think it’s time for us to move on.”

This communicates your appreciation for the person while being clear about your decision.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I feel it’s best for both of us if we go our separate ways. It’s not an easy decision, but it feels like the right one."

This shows you've thought carefully about the decision and have considered both your position and theirs.

“I think we’ve tried several times but we have to admit that it’s not working.”

This recognizes that both of you have been trying to save the relationship but to no avail, and you’re ready to move on.

"I'm not feeling the same way about this relationship as I used to and I thought it’s only fair that I let you know."

This tells the person that your feelings for them have changed and you don’t want to be with them anymore.

Rejecting Someone Can Be Done Nicely—Here's How

Why It’s Important to Be Honest But Kind

Breaking up with a partner can be a deeply emotional experience—for you and for them.1 It’s a tough conversation, sure, but being truthful and kind can make all the difference. It’s about showing respect—for the time you shared, for their feelings, and for yourself.

No one wants to feel strung along or blindsided, and being honest and upfront about your feelings helps avoid that. Perhaps there is no perfect way to let someone down but there is a gift in letting someone know the truth, says Claudia de Llano, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist and author of “The Seven Destinies of Love.” 

Being kind shows that you care about the person, even though things aren't working out.2 Breaking up angrily or rudely might feel good in the moment, especially when there are hurt feelings involved, but in the long term there are way more benefits to being courteous, says Dr. Romanoff.