Duane CohenHaving to cope with a Narcissistic Mother-in-Law can be extremely exhausting and emotionally taxing. Narcissists normally display relationship dynamics which are unhealthy; they are power hungry and only think about themselves. If your mother-in-law always wants attention, undermines your authority or shows no compassion then these could be red flags indicating narcissism.
Henceforth, being able to identify such indicators early when still managing the relationship will assist you in coming up with protective mechanisms of preserving your wellbeing mentally bulbous. In this article, we shall discuss clear indicators that suggest you may be caught up in such circumstances whereby other than providing guidelines on how to handle a Narcissistic Mother-in-Law.
What Is Narcissistic Mother-In-Law?
When looking into the mirror, with an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a lopsided love affair often transpires. In a dysfunctional family, there may be someone who commands most attention and admiration at her will only without showing even a little bit emotion—the other people live in fear or happiness as she determines.
Such people have narcissistic tendencies; they feel, think and talk all about themselves. In fact, they engage in self-pitying behaviors just to keep afloat emotionally. These relationships are usually strained especially when it concerns their children’s spouses. It is usually very draining to deal with her complicated moods and expectations if one has to live amongst such parties (Rosenberg).
Related Reading: Narcissistic Marriage Problems & How To Deal With Them
11 Signs of a Narcissistic Mother-in-Law
Below, we have explained some of the signs of the Narcissistic Mother-in-Law:
Relentless Criticism
She habitually condemns your choices, looks or conducts, often masking them as “wise suggestions,” which leaves one feeling as if they never measure up.
Need for Dominance
She won’t take any other opinion or wish into consideration except that which belongs to her; she often tries making crucial decisions concerning your life.
No Respect for Boundaries
She trespasses into your personal space, time, or privacy, believing that she has a right to meddle in matters concerning your marriage or home. This intrusion can create tension, making it difficult to focus on your relationship. Understanding how to seduce your husband can help you reignite the passion and intimacy in your marriage, keeping your bond strong despite external challenges.
Manipulation
She employs guilt trips, assigning blame and emotional control whenever she wants something done; it is quite common for her to play the victim role so as to obtain sympathy or control.
Envy
She shows bitterness in your bond with her child, frequently attempting to outdo you on anything just for them looking at her.
Center of Attention
This woman desires to be in the limelight all the time and can easily feel sad or angry whenever she thinks that other people do not pay her attention.
Apathy
She does this gently or plainly—trying to challenge you both personally and publicly. When faced with such behavior, it can make you question, “What is love ?” as the constant challenges may strain your relationship, making it difficult to maintain the affection and connection you once shared.
Never Says Sorry
When it comes to accepting responsibility she won’t do this even once and often shifts blame onto him/her or uses different reasons for what has happened.
Triangulation
She can make trouble or scrimmage between you and your partner to create gaps in understanding through gossip or untruths.
Playing the Victim
She often presents herself as the victim in every predicament, trying to attract empathy from others ignoring her contributions to the misunderstandings.
Entitlement
In most instances, she feels privileges should be accorded to her due to her position without considering what you want or where exactly you draw the line.
How to Deal with a Narcissistic Mother-in-Law?
Firmly establishing limits
In dealing with our significant others having in mind that they are not acceptable by just stating them out loud. Be firm about these limitations if we want to remain sane.
Restricting Contact
Decrease the frequency as well as duration of interactions with your mother-in-law so that she does not manipulate you into making wrong decisions.
Remaining Calm and Detached
At all costs do not show emotions during such confrontations. This way she will not take charge over the situation or make things worse.
Get Help
For emotional support go to hubby, mates or even a therapist. It’s important to have a strong support system in place to help you deal with the problems.
Preserving Your Marriage
When it comes to your husband ensure that you have an open line of communication and are team players always. Making sure your marriage thrives will lessen the effects of her actions on you. In other words, move away from the way she treats me and protect myself before going back home from where we met at dinner. It’s about having a healthy life after all.
Related Reading: Are You Married to a Covert Narcissist? – 11 Signs
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How Does a Narcissistic Mother-In-Law Behave?
Control freaks, manipulators, and selfish individuals are qualities that define a typical Narcissistic Mother-in-Law. Everybody’s attention is what she craves the most followed by confirmations; she even places her interests before the child’s ones. To all intents and purposes, she is always undermining your authority or throwing harsh words at you or getting involved in your marriage while painting herself as the innocent party.
Guilt trips or emotional blackmail are frequent ways for her to keep everything in check as she anticipates that everyone should meet her demands. The absence of empathy along with lack of respect for boundaries may cause discontent and disharmony within the family leading to a challenge of maintaining a healthy relationship with her.
Does a Narcissist Cry?
Yes, a person with covert narcissistic personality disorder might shed tears but most of the time such outpourings have no emotional honesty nor are they sincere. To sympathize with these people is another trick they use when they want something from you, and also to create a perception of greater vulnerability than what exists. Their tears serve primarily as controlling instruments in crisis situations or a means for them to refocus attention on themselves. Even though they could feel something inside them at that moment, it would be more pretentious than real feeling; just like crying could only serve for tactical purposes not genuine ones.
Conclusion
Knowing the signs of a Narcissistic Mother-in-Law is important in terms of keeping your emotional health intact and protecting your marital bond. By recognizing her actions like manipulation, lack of empathy, or a constant desire to control others, you would be able to create solid limits for yourself to help reduce unnecessary stress.
Although it may be hard to cope with a Narcissistic Mother-in-Law it requires that you focus on your marriage, reach out for help from others. As such maintaining clear and honest communication as well as having an established support system are vital in regulating the effects of her behavior on family dynamics as highlighted below.
Sources
- Caligor E, Levy KN, Yeomans FE. Narcissistic personality disorder: diagnostic and clinical challenges. AJP. 2015;172(5):415-422.
- National Institute of Mental Health. Personality disorders.
