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Let’s be real, dating apps can be a wild (and exhausting) ride. Sometimes they can be fun and exciting, leading to genuine connections and lasting love. But, other times, they can bring out some seriously sketchy behavior. And we’re not talking about cheesy pickup lines, cringe-worthy bios, or shirtless gym selfies. Beyond these harmless quirks are some toxic behaviors that can leave us feeling hurt, confused, or frustrated. “The anonymity of dating apps allows people to hide, pretend, string us along, never get back to us, tell us they’re looking for something different than what they really want, and just create plain overwhelm and confusion,” says Claudia de Llano, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist and author of “The Seven Destinies of Love.” These behaviors can traumatize us and have us questioning our worth, especially if we experience them repeatedly, says Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist. Whether you’re swiping for a soulmate or just dipping your toes into the dating pool, these are some of the red flags to look out for.
" When you experience dating-related trauma, dating apps can feel like a negative, scary, and dangerous place."
Ghosting is essentially when someone suddenly cuts off all communication without any explanation.1
For example, you’ve been chatting with someone for weeks, or even dating them, and then—poof—the person disappears, ignoring your calls and texts. They’ve suddenly vanished, like a ghost.
Ghosting can be incredibly hurtful. It leaves you feeling rejected, confused, and wondering what you did wrong. If you’ve been ghosted, you may be tempted to believe the other person doesn’t value you enough to provide closure or an ending, says Dr. Romanoff.
Breadcrumbing is when someone gives you just enough attention to keep you hooked but never actually commits to anything.2
They might send flirty texts or like your pictures occasionally, but every time you try to make plans, chances are they conveniently “forget” or bail on you at the last minute.
Breadcrumbing can be incredibly frustrating because you’re unsure of where you stand with the person. It often feels like a rollercoaster of suspense—the highs when the person makes contact feel euphoric, keeping you pecking along the trail for the crumbs of affection the person gives you, says Dr. Romanoff. Ultimately, you waste a lot of emotional energy waiting for something that’s never going to happen.
Love bombing is when someone overwhelms you with excessive affection, compliments, and promises early on to gain your trust quickly.
For example, someone you've just started talking to online is constantly showering you with compliments, bombarding you with gifts, telling you they love you, and planning their future with you.
While it might seem flattering at first, love bombing is a manipulative tactic used to gain control. It often leads to emotional manipulation or disappointment when the person pulls away just as suddenly.
Benchwarming is when someone keeps you as a backup option while pursuing other people more seriously.
For example, the person may only text you sporadically, either when they’re bored or when their primary interest is unavailable.
This behavior can make you feel undervalued, like you’re not a priority but just a placeholder in their dating life.
Ghost-lighting is a mix of ghosting and gaslighting, where someone ghosts you and then pretends it never happened if they resurface later.
The person may disappear for weeks, then suddenly pop back in like nothing happened, acting confused if you bring it up.
This can leave you feeling manipulated and questioning your own perception of the situation.
Unfortunately, some people use dating apps despite being in committed relationships, which can be a form of cheating.
The person may tell you they’re single, but they may actually be using the app behind their partner’s back.
This behavior is dishonest and disrespectful to both the person they’re dating and to you.
Negging involves giving backhanded compliments or subtle insults.
For example, someone tells you they like your dress, but then adds, "It's a little last season, but you pull it off."
Negging is a form of emotional abuse that can chip away at your self-worth and make you feel insecure.
Catfishing occurs when someone creates a fake profile or pretends to be someone else to deceive you.
For instance, someone uses heavily edited pictures that don’t look like them at all, claims they’re a doctor when they’re not, or even pretends to be a completely different person.
Catfishing makes you question your judgment, doubt your ability to pick a partner, lose faith in others, and avoid emotional vulnerability in the future, Dr. Romanoff explains.
Trolling is when someone intentionally provokes, insults, or upsets you, just to get a reaction out of you.
On dating apps, this could involve sending rude or offensive messages, making derogatory comments about your profile, cracking inappropriate jokes, or even sharing suggestive images.
Trolling can be deeply upsetting, making you feel humiliated, attacked, and even unsafe.
Cyberbullying can occur on any digital platform, including dating apps. Bullying on dating apps is very common unfortunately and tends to happen early on, says Dr. Romanoff.
It could involve harassment, insults, or comments that are designed to make you feel bad about yourself.
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Have you ever met a person and felt that he/she is made for you? Are you so connected with any one that you feel like your inner soul is linked with them? Actually, the vibe you are feeling is very real, which is why it is important to learn about soul ties. Soul ties are believed to be an emotional and spiritual connection that develops between individuals. Read below to know the signs of soul ties and how to break them if it is unhealthy:
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