Isabelle Parker (Psychologist)A “roommate marriage” happens when a couple finds themselves relating more as housemates than lovers. It is easy to miss the signs but they have great influence: habitual actions succeed personal ones; casual talks become monetary; and moods turn bland. So even if you are in the same house together, you might feel like an island in the middle of an ocean.
Knowing this will aid in healing your broken union. As a result, through effective conversations, spending quality time with each other and returning to memorable joint activities partners can change their mere mutual existence into a caring and affectionate relationship.
What Is Roommate Marriage?
In easy words, roommate marriage can be explained as:
Losing Closeness
It’s so unusual for couples to be together, this may sound crazy, but they behave like two buddies or even roommates while avoiding any kind of romance. This leads to less emotional adjustment and also less physical contact.
Loyalty Before Love
In other words, everyday activities become more important than anything else between two people who are in love except maybe intimacy.
Absence of Affection
Conversations lose their depth and can become so shallow that all that once knotted us together as one no longer holds us fast.
Related Reading: 21 Different Types of Marriages
11 Signs of a Roommate Marriage
Here are some roommate marriage signs:
Lessened Physical Closeness
You do not prioritize physical love anymore, be it kissing, hugging or sexual intimacy, leading to a gap in terms of being close and connected.
Business Talks
Limited communication encompasses discussion on household chores, bills, or schedules even though there is little time left for deep personal meaningful talks.
Distant Lifestyles
Individual hobbies or interests are pursued separately with nothing much in common thus it feels like you’re living two different lives.
Scarcity of Togetherness
Yours become infrequent dating evenings and also shared engagements while time spent apart or with other people is more than when both of you meet.
Emotional Distance
Emotional disconnection leads to unconfessed love thus making you feel lonely in that relationship.
Routine Dominance
You are just a passive participant in the relationship due to the habitualness of daily activities and responsibilities.
Avoidance of Conflict
You tend to dodge confronting problems, thereby subjecting yourself to an environment where unresolved tensions exist between both of you, which can exacerbate a lack of commitment in marriage. Avoiding these issues can lead to deeper disconnects, making it crucial to face and address them to build a stronger, more committed relationship.
Diminished Affection
Affection is not shown anymore in any way, as compliments, presents, and acts of kindness hardly happen, leaving behind a cold atmosphere in this love affair. To reconcile a marriage after separation, it’s essential to rekindle these gestures of love and warmth, restoring the emotional connection and transforming the coldness into a more nurturing and loving environment.
Sleeping Apart
Sleeping in separate rooms is normal for you because of comfort or habit, this reduces physical closeness even more than before.
No long-term goal
this implies that there is no commonality in the things you do as a couple, or that there is no a unifying vision of the future for both partners.
Increased Focus on External Relationships
Focusing on other relationships more than as husband and wife: it simply means that you sometimes go outside your marriage to find emotional support or consolation with your friends or relatives.
Related Reading: What Is Marriage? Definition, Purpose & How to Work
How Can You Fix Your Roommate Stage Of Marriage?
Revive Communication
Begin talking significance. Set aside some time when you’ll openly talk about what’s in your heart or any other thing which is bothering you; this will also involve listening to your partner so that they feel valued.
Put More Emphasis on Quality Time Spent Together
Schedule for date nights or any fun activities that the two of you will find interesting. Look for those things which once were part of your life as a couple so that you can restore the loving bond between both of you.
Physically Reconnect With Each Other
You should work towards bringing back that tenderness within your connection whether through holding hands, cuddling or any other experience more intimate than such touching, enabling sentimental connections as they are actually involved found out from studies.
Address Unresolved Issues
Conflicts or difficult conversations should not be avoided. Addressing and resolving underlying issues can clear the air and help you both feel heard and understood.
Create New Shared Goals
You should work on setting mutual goals, whether they’re related to your future, finances, or personal growth. Having something to strive for together can strengthen your partnership.
Show Appreciation
Make a habit of expressing gratitude and appreciation for each other. Small acts of kindness and recognition can go a long way in rekindling love and affection.
Seek Professional Help
If the disconnect feels too deep to fix on your own, consider couples therapy. A professional can provide guidance and tools to help you rebuild your relationship.
Related Reading: Narcissistic Marriage Problems & How To Deal With Them
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How Do You Fix a Marriage That Feels Like That of Roommates?
To transform a marriage into more than just living with someone as if they were roommates again, get back to the roots of emotional and physical closeness, change how you talk with each other, spend time together doing something that you both enjoy and explain what’s going on.
What Is the Difference Between a Roommate Marriage and a Loveless Marriage?
The biggest difference between roommate marriage and a loveless marriage is where two single people live in harmony and one where two people share everything together even if they have assumed different roles is that in order for them to continue living together there must be love; otherwise, this arrangement would degenerate into mere cohabitation devoid of passion or intimacy which can lead to loneliness.
Can a Roommate Marriage Be Saved?
Sure, in order to rekindle both emotional and physical intimacy, enhance communication skills, spend more quality time together, and handle any outstanding issues, one could be able to save a marriage that has become more of a roommate situation. The commitment of both partners is crucial.
Conclusion
A roommate marriage can be quite difficult but it doesn’t mean it’s the end. By knowing the indicators and doing things like enhancing conversation, reviving romance, and enjoying each other’s company, couples can change their relationships back into what they were before — full of love and attachment.
Sources
- Yoo H, Bartle-Haring S, Day R, Gangamma R. Couple communication, emotional and sexual intimacy, and relationship satisfaction. J Sex Marital Ther. 2013;40(4):275-293. doi:10.1080/0092623x.2012.751072
- Wade TJ, Mogilski J. Emotional accessibility is more important than sexual accessibility in evaluating romantic relationships – especially for women: A conjoint analysis. Front Psychol. 2018;9:632. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00632
